Shoot for the Moon....

Finally I realized that go for the dream is not that easy. Life is giving me obstacles in different ways. Yes, I want to be a fashion Designer. I want to start my own fashion house. But how can I? Nobody around me is helping me. They only nodding or laughing to my dream. Am I wrong?? Yes. Why should I wait till they help me....??? Sometimes I feel very helpless... And some times it take tears to my eyes. My dad... He is totally against my dream. My mom... she is little bit ok but she never doing anything my dad doesn't like.  What should I do now? Give up the whole dream? No way..... This is what I always wanted. This is what keeping me alive... I can't give up so easily.

I took the decision. I know there is no one to help. At least  no one to give me a courageous smile. But I have myself.  People might think it's silly. But I know how valuable it is to me. I'm going after my dream. My dream of being a designer. No matter what I'm losing, no matter who is laughing at my back, no matter who is pulling my leg... because my heart is get used to them. Pain  is no more a pain to me. Thanks to my poor soul. 

I started from the very beginning. I know I'm not that much good in drawing. But manageable.  So I started a sketch book. I searched so many things in internet and kept the first step. It is not easy. I know that. But my heart is singing... "Carry on"

WISH ME LUCK.... ;)

To my Little Star, With Love.....

I wanted to write my sinhala blog. Unfortunately I don't have sinhala fonts in my office computers.
So, instead of writing in sinhala, I thought to continue this with all  my feelings.

YES...
It's all about you my love. It's all about our love. I know, you are not going to read this. Some times you may don't know that I have this blog. But you may read this one day. You may realize that it's me who is writing all these feelings for you. That day you will definitely understsnd what my love is....

I know you love me. I know you care.. (at least in it's minimum point) But you still can't understand me. Eventhough it's nearly three years for our love, you hurt me as no one.
You might understood, yesterday was one of the loveliest day in my life. After spending the whole day with you, I was madly happy, overjoyed..
But in the evening you killed all my happy feelings. You talked to me just like am the biggest enemy of yours. I know I'm strong, strong enough to bear the pain and to love you with all these obstacles, but do you know my dear, I still cry when you hurt me. I still think why you hurt me this much. Do you ever think why I still bear this pain? It's not because I love this pain. It's because I can't leave you. It's because You are my one and only...
It's very difficult to bear all this alone. But I know I'm strong enough to hold on till you come to me. But promis me..
Promise me that you could give your shoulder to hide my tears when you come.
Love you more than ever. As I said you yesterday, I'm trying to keep our hands together, not letting them to go seperately, because I know both of us are incomplete without eachother.

LOVE YOU......

Fashion : A big blast...

I'm back after a long time. Days are little bit busy with these and that things. But somehow found a time to write something here.
I feel it's nice to talk about a common topic that have attention of all mankind. It's FASHION..

Since my biggest dream is to be a fashion designer, I have a pretty much interest on fashion. Actually what is the real meaning of fashion? Some one can say it is the way we wear, it is the way we select the combination of our dress colours, bla bla...  But, according to my thoughts, fashion is something we have in our minds. We always searching for fashionable things. We measure the fashion by the eye of the society. If they(society) appreciate the fashion, we think it's fashionable. But is it the true fashion?
As my idea, fashion is doing something that is different from others. That doesn't mean that that we should completely be different from others to be fashionable. There is a some kind of attractive fashion hidden inside every person. The people who recognize what their fashion is, are the people who are gleaming in the fashion world. Others who still going after the society's attitudes, are considered as ordinary people.
Fashion is related not only to the way, the colour of our dress. Fashion is everything. The way we wear, the way we walk, talk, our make up, way we behave in the society,  the words we are using, our smile... everything is related with fashion. Only the people who understand that can be the fashionable people.
Fashion does not need expensive dresses or accessories. It's just the way we combine the things we have. If we have a pretty good combination ability, every rough piece of cloth, every old piece of accessory can make a highly fashionable  man or woman.

Painful Love.

PAIN... Those four words continuously rolling in m mind today. It's not a special thing. My most of the days are filled with pain. But today is somewhat special. I thought of writing all m worries in a piece of paper. But it has the possibility of getting caught by my mom. Why should I show her that I am in a trouble?
This kind of cyber space is very useful in such instances. I shut down my computer and restart it again, thinking I should write here and wipe all my worries from my head. Yes. As always I still love him. It is the only reason for me to stick to this pain. He was my everything. He s and he will be. But suddenly my mind is alarming me about some kind of damage to our relationship. That troubles me lot.
It is not unusual. We faced many hard situations. But those days I used to cry and wipe all my burdens. But today, even though I want to cry,  tears are not with me. Simply I don't have tears to cry. I only feel the pain inside my heart. Pain that making me even more weaker.
Life is such a terrible journey. I may have such pessimistic feelings because I am a sensitive person. But that's my nature which I inherited from my ancestors.
But thanks to god.. My heart is still tough to hold on. I still love him as I did when we were madly in love. That may be the reason for me to feel his changes this much.
All the thing I do to save this love is in vein.  Because each and every time I want him to be with me, he is not there. I should get used to this life now. Because, in a gloomy world like mine, it's impossible to see a shining star..!! I should accept that eternal truth. 

Dream.

Last few days was the hardest days in my life. Only those days I understood how difficult to wait for something. How difficult to wait till something happens, not knowing  whether it will happen or not. Yes. I'm still experiencing it. I'm waiting for a telephone call. A call that can turn my life upside down. I know the call should come some day. But who can tell the future.... ??? Every single time my mobile phone rings, I'm getting nervous. But still I didn't get it. How sad...!!
It was my dream. I wanted to go for my dream. I tried several times. But unfortunately I failed to achieve it. But, it happened suddenly. I was succeeded this time. So, I'm waiting for the final call.
I don't know when it would come. But I'm still WAITING till my dream come true...!!!!

New guests to home...

Finally I found some time to write this. Last week was the busiest week I ever spent. All seven days I had to travel more than 100 kilometers per day. It made me very tired. And now I'm here, free to write this post. It is about a thing I thought to write last week. About the two little ones who attracted me to them. Who are they?
Oh! They are two little puppies.
One morning I saw something rolling in the edge of our yard.  I went there to have a look. It was this two puppies. Someone has left them here in a cold. They were very little. Even hard to walk. I felt so sad about those poor creatures. No doubt. I'm going to take them home. I'm going to look after those little puppies.
My mom was not very happy about this decision. But she didn't scold me either. And my dad was very happy to see them. He volunteerly involved to make a little home for them. I actually don't like to put animals in cages. But this time I have no option. Since these poor creatures are very small there is a possibility for them to be a food for another bigger animal.
So we made a nice little house for the. And decorated it with tiny silver strips of cloth. Yes. Those little ones are playing with them.
I'm very happy to see them in a good health. And whenever I take them out from there cage, They are playing with my foot like two little balls.

Live or Suffer...?

Days are flying. I'm happy I still have the time to enjoy the beauty of the life. I don't know whether any of you ever seen the real beauty of the nature. No!! I'm not talking about the beauty of a flower garden. I'm not talking about the beauty of a river or a forest of wide variety of trees. I'm talking about the surrounding that we see everyday. Have you ever seen any beauty outside your house? No matter whether you live in a city or in a country side. Both may not have the same kind of beauty. But there is a beauty. The thing is we never believe it.
As my point of view, beauty is the way we see something. It is not connected with the things around us. It is only connected with our eyes. If we look at something, even at the ugliest thing in the world... and if we think that it is such a beautiful thing.... of course... it is a miracle... you can see that object as the most beautiful thing in the world. This is the way our heart made our feelings. Well... I'm not going to talk about scientific things.
Everyday when I'm opening my windows, I feel the freshness of the air, I feel the freshness of the morning. I murmur to my heart.. "This is the best day ever...". Surprise... The day seems the happiest day in my life. That doesn't mean that I haven't faced any troubles. Bur even when I'm in a trouble, I try to feel the goodness around me. It helps me to be strong. To look at my problem in a different eye.
Yes... I believe in miracles. I believe in magical incidents in our environment which make huge effects in our inner feelings.
Try it. You may end in a mysterious world with full of happiness. This is the path to success.