Painful Love.

PAIN... Those four words continuously rolling in m mind today. It's not a special thing. My most of the days are filled with pain. But today is somewhat special. I thought of writing all m worries in a piece of paper. But it has the possibility of getting caught by my mom. Why should I show her that I am in a trouble?
This kind of cyber space is very useful in such instances. I shut down my computer and restart it again, thinking I should write here and wipe all my worries from my head. Yes. As always I still love him. It is the only reason for me to stick to this pain. He was my everything. He s and he will be. But suddenly my mind is alarming me about some kind of damage to our relationship. That troubles me lot.
It is not unusual. We faced many hard situations. But those days I used to cry and wipe all my burdens. But today, even though I want to cry,  tears are not with me. Simply I don't have tears to cry. I only feel the pain inside my heart. Pain that making me even more weaker.
Life is such a terrible journey. I may have such pessimistic feelings because I am a sensitive person. But that's my nature which I inherited from my ancestors.
But thanks to god.. My heart is still tough to hold on. I still love him as I did when we were madly in love. That may be the reason for me to feel his changes this much.
All the thing I do to save this love is in vein.  Because each and every time I want him to be with me, he is not there. I should get used to this life now. Because, in a gloomy world like mine, it's impossible to see a shining star..!! I should accept that eternal truth. 

Dream.

Last few days was the hardest days in my life. Only those days I understood how difficult to wait for something. How difficult to wait till something happens, not knowing  whether it will happen or not. Yes. I'm still experiencing it. I'm waiting for a telephone call. A call that can turn my life upside down. I know the call should come some day. But who can tell the future.... ??? Every single time my mobile phone rings, I'm getting nervous. But still I didn't get it. How sad...!!
It was my dream. I wanted to go for my dream. I tried several times. But unfortunately I failed to achieve it. But, it happened suddenly. I was succeeded this time. So, I'm waiting for the final call.
I don't know when it would come. But I'm still WAITING till my dream come true...!!!!

New guests to home...

Finally I found some time to write this. Last week was the busiest week I ever spent. All seven days I had to travel more than 100 kilometers per day. It made me very tired. And now I'm here, free to write this post. It is about a thing I thought to write last week. About the two little ones who attracted me to them. Who are they?
Oh! They are two little puppies.
One morning I saw something rolling in the edge of our yard.  I went there to have a look. It was this two puppies. Someone has left them here in a cold. They were very little. Even hard to walk. I felt so sad about those poor creatures. No doubt. I'm going to take them home. I'm going to look after those little puppies.
My mom was not very happy about this decision. But she didn't scold me either. And my dad was very happy to see them. He volunteerly involved to make a little home for them. I actually don't like to put animals in cages. But this time I have no option. Since these poor creatures are very small there is a possibility for them to be a food for another bigger animal.
So we made a nice little house for the. And decorated it with tiny silver strips of cloth. Yes. Those little ones are playing with them.
I'm very happy to see them in a good health. And whenever I take them out from there cage, They are playing with my foot like two little balls.

Live or Suffer...?

Days are flying. I'm happy I still have the time to enjoy the beauty of the life. I don't know whether any of you ever seen the real beauty of the nature. No!! I'm not talking about the beauty of a flower garden. I'm not talking about the beauty of a river or a forest of wide variety of trees. I'm talking about the surrounding that we see everyday. Have you ever seen any beauty outside your house? No matter whether you live in a city or in a country side. Both may not have the same kind of beauty. But there is a beauty. The thing is we never believe it.
As my point of view, beauty is the way we see something. It is not connected with the things around us. It is only connected with our eyes. If we look at something, even at the ugliest thing in the world... and if we think that it is such a beautiful thing.... of course... it is a miracle... you can see that object as the most beautiful thing in the world. This is the way our heart made our feelings. Well... I'm not going to talk about scientific things.
Everyday when I'm opening my windows, I feel the freshness of the air, I feel the freshness of the morning. I murmur to my heart.. "This is the best day ever...". Surprise... The day seems the happiest day in my life. That doesn't mean that I haven't faced any troubles. Bur even when I'm in a trouble, I try to feel the goodness around me. It helps me to be strong. To look at my problem in a different eye.
Yes... I believe in miracles. I believe in magical incidents in our environment which make huge effects in our inner feelings.
Try it. You may end in a mysterious world with full of happiness. This is the path to success.

Waiting for a Miracle

Taking the last zip of coffee
I am thinking about you...
Past and present
the days I wanted to be with you,
the days I missed your laugh
the days I wanted to cry on your chest
Wondering how quickly the things are changing
destiny leads us to a path nowhere
filled with millions of hard moments
but no miracles...
When I see the sun going down
I want to talk with u hand in hand,
want to prove my hand is real
only for you...
but,
you wanted me to stay away
throwing me to the far horizon
that we never can touch each others soul
that we never be together in minds,
even wondering why destiny is so cruel
I still dreaming for miracles
that would make us together........

Who is me... ?

Sometimes I feel express ideas in English is much more easier than expressing them in Sinhala. When we try to express them in sinhala they are getting more and more complex and the whole thing becomes a real mess. I thought lot about writing a blog in english because life in each and every moment makes us various feelings.
So.... It's me again. Here in "LikE lyF". To share almost all my feelings. There are so many things.Since my life is like the wind, sometimes fury as a storm, sometimes soft as a cool soft touch. Anyway, that's the way of life. A real life with  so many troubles, worries, happiness, ups and downs... But I'm here  to face everything. I'm not saying I'm tough as a stone or soft as a flower. There are so many incidents I am falling, but I believe there is something (I believe it is the courage I collected for a long time) which makes me more and more strong.

It's better if I tell you something about me before I start this blog. I am still 21 and studying for an IT degree. But my everlasting dream is to be a fashion designer and start my own business. (O god...!! My parents are thinking I am still too small to involve in such things. That's why I am here doing boring IT lessons and just dreaming about my future. :) )
From the very young age I believe I'm kind of creative girl because I always wanted to do something others don't do. I always wanted to so completely different thing with my future. And most of the times I wanted to be an independent person. That's what I inherited and no one on earth would change my attitudes.
I was succeeded with the little things I created  but when it becomes large things which would affect to my future, I am down with discourage. No one around me (except one guy) believes that I can go for my dream.
By the way, there is one person, one who understood me most, are still believe that I can start my business. It's 'Little Star', who turned my life upside down. He is my everlasting love, my soul mate and the one I want to be with me all the time.
This is how my surrounding is.
And there is an inside character. A girl with lots and lots of dreams. I am a kind of cool girl who loves music. Yes. I can't spend a single day without listening even a single song. I love music. But there is a certain kind which I always listen. I make my choice of music by the meaning of the song. Most of the time,  I want to listen love songs, and there are some other kinds also. But as a whole I am a classical music lover. 
I love reading also. I normally reading each and every single piece I found. But there are certain stories I love, certain stories which made my life gleaming with new thoughts,  I hope I could share all those thoughts, all those stories with you through this blog.
There are some other likes of mine. Some girly hobbies and some unusual interests. But for now, I think this is enough. Because... Life is like a miracle and we don't know what will happen tomorrow... Even today also unpredictable. So see you soon with another new topic. We'll talk and share all our feelings. World is small. and life like world... see you soon... :)